thegayswhocouldfly:

so me and my siblings (theres 3 of us) were eating dinner with my dad and we were talking about dad jokes and all of a sudden my dad goes “ive only made 3 jokes in my life and theyre all sitting in front of me”

thats it

the dad joke to end all dad jokes

(Source: duns-f0r-hands, via these-fading-scars)

(Source: taileighl, via its-my-fate)

didgeridood:

hardcorebrownie:

didgeridood:

hardcorebrownie:

didgeridood:

hardcorebrownie:

I BROKE MY CAPS LOCK BUTTON HELP ME

have you tried turning it off and back on again

I HIT IT REALLY HARD AND STILL HASN’T TURNED OFF

there is no need to shout ma’am. have you tried turning it off and back on

I AM NOT SHOUTING

IT DOESN’T TURN OFF

ma’am, ma’am, have you tried turning it on & off again

(via greenmattergreymatter)

akanedee:

if you ever call me annoying, even if it’s just jokingly, the chances of me ever speaking to you again are slim to none because I’ll be so afraid that every little word or sound that comes out of my mouth will aggravate you and make you cringe and hate my existence

(via greenmattergreymatter)

jfef:

if someone from the internet wants to meet me cool alright im down but i just hope they’re not expecting much cause im even uglier in person

(via the-frostiest-of-jacks)